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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28063989">I Guess I'm Lying Cause I Want To... Or Cause I Don't</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixspencer/pseuds/phoenixspencer'>phoenixspencer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Sails</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmarks are flowers, Soulmate-Identifying Marks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:40:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28063989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixspencer/pseuds/phoenixspencer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anyone else would have gone about their business - of which Silver had plenty, including, but not limited to, patching his captain up in order to make sure he hadn’t just saved the man from drowning for him to just die of an infection. But Silver was, as always, curious and horrendously bad at showing self-restraint.</p><p>Or, Silver is nosy and learns that he and Flint are destined to be much closer than either of them could have expected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Captain Flint | James McGraw/John Silver</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Guess I'm Lying Cause I Want To... Or Cause I Don't</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first Black Sails work that I've posted so please be nice to me. End result is going to be SIlverFlintHamilton, but the first two chapters are just Silver and Flint. I'm bad at titles and summaries and tagging so sorry about that.... I hope that you like it. I love seeing comments and constructive criticism is always welcome.</p><p>The first chapter covers the first and second seasons, chapter 2 will be for the third and fourth seasons (until im diverging) and then chapter 3 will be diverging from canon so yeah... </p><p>The idea is that every person has a plant mark that they are born with and when they turn 15 they gain another mark (or more) that represent their soulmate(s). Flint's mark is ivy, John's is a fir tree, and Thomas's is a red tulip.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Silver had first seen Flint’s soul mark when he had pulled the man from the sea. Flint just seemed content to follow his ship’s demise and sink beneath the waves. Silver wasn’t having it. While nothing was ever set in stone, Flint was his best chance at getting his hands on the gold that was somewhere nearby, so he fished the suicidal captain out of the surf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rid the man of the heaviest of his clothes once they were on the sand, making it marginally easier to drag Flint’s deadweight far enough up the beach that the incoming tide wouldn’t reach them. It wasn’t much, but as Silver was removing Flint’s shoes, he caught a glimpse of some kind of vine that curled on to the top of Flint’s left foot from his ankle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyone else would have gone about their business - of which Silver had plenty, including, but not limited to, patching his captain up in order to make sure he hadn’t just saved the man from drowning for him to just die of an infection. But Silver was, as always, curious and horrendously bad at showing self-restraint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled the bottom of Flint’s pants leg up to get a better look and in the process his thumb brushed some of the richly colored skin that made up an ivy leaf on the inside of Flint’s leg, just above his ankle bone. It was at that moment that John Silver knew he was screwed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skin was warm, unnaturally so. It felt like the first day of true warmth after a winter of bitter cold, like the moving into the sun after hours in the dreary shade. It was intense, just on the right side of too much. Flint shifted, but remained unconscious, and that was it. The spark was gone, but not even Silver could deny that it had happened. Fuck....</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silver was an idiot. What was the saying? ‘Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back’? Well, in this case, if Flint found out that he and Silver were soulmates, then there was little that would save Silver, satisfaction or no. Luckily, only he knew. He just had to make sure that Flint never saw the ivy that was on his chest and most definitely </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> touched the fir branch on his right forearm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that Silver didn’t want a soulmate, and it wasn’t that he was disappointed that his soulmate was Flint. No, neither of those applied. Silver liked the idea of finding somewhere that he belonged, that he mattered, and Flint being that place for some reason made sense in his head. He had already had a good deal of respect for the man, and he was quite fond of the universe’s appeal to his physical type. Flint couldn’t find out because Silver didn’t know if he could live through the rejection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that Flint thought little of him. To Flint, Silver was a lowlife thief, which (in Silver’s opinion) is a bit unfair as they are all pirates. Silver was just the man who had unknowingly gotten himself into something so much bigger than he could imagine and got in the way of the Caribbean’s most feared pirate. Silver had a bit of trouble accepting this, but there was no way Flint would accept it at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before DuFresne and what was left of the crew had hauled themselves onto the beach, then again Silver was too busy caught in his own thoughts to realize whether it had been 20 minutes or 2 hours. DuFresne promptly confronted Silver, which was fair, he had been the one to fire, after all. Silver had to sweet-talk the crew out of immediately killing him and Flint, which, after everything they’d done, wasn’t an easy task. And none of them even knew he was the thief... Maybe his cooking </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> that bad. He was glad to see that, at least, Dr. Howell was still willing to tend to Flint’s gunshot wound, and without Silver asking at that. He made a small note of respect for the doctor (one that would immediately be lost when the man would take his leg). He watched from the side as Dr. Howell checked Flint over once more for any further wounds, rolling Flint’s pants leg up a little further, obviously confused why Silver had done so previously. The doctor shrugged and returned to the crew, leaving Silver to sit a ways away from the group with his unconscious captain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>About an hour later, Silver watched as Flint slowly began to rouse. By this point, half the crew had begun hauling as much debris as they could recover from the Walrus and were laying out the plans for repairs. The ship was, unsurprisingly, in the worst shape Silver had ever seen her in. Flint lightly coughed and started to sit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over to where John was sitting a few feet away. John pointed out the ship and briefly explained the situation they were in. DuFresne didn’t give him much chance to speak, however, stepping in the sunlight and casting a shadow over Flint in a demand at the man’s attention. He succeeded. Flint looked to him, leaving little pause for silence. “Why am I still alive? Why didn’t you kill me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>DuFresne brows scrunched together a little, looking over to Silver for just a second. He took a breath and ordered Silver to get Flint up. Silver hadn’t missed the shake to Flint’s voice. It could have been the disuse, or residual water that hadn’t been hacked up, yet. But something in Silver told him otherwise. He thinks Flint was disappointed to wake up and still be alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If there is one thing Silver has, it’s self-preservation skills and, therefore, he didn’t mention his observations. Instead, he passed Flint a shirt that wasn’t soaked in a mixture of sea water and blood, and his boots. DuFresne led the two of them and two other crew mates that had been tasked with keeping Silver and Flint in line through the dunes to the best vantage point. Silver hadn’t seen it himself, yet, but he had heard the men saying that the Urca had wrecked last night, taken down by the storm and her contents were flooding the sand not far from where they were. When no one seemed willing to say anything, Silver’s inability to sit in silence kicked in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you I was certain about my information regarding the Urca.” Flint paused and turned to look at Silver. “Unfortunately, you and I failed to take into account the weather.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silver walked past Flint at that and continued through the uneven sand to where a scout was watching the entire scene unfold. The scout passed the glass he had been using to DuFresne, who didn’t look through it, but rather passed it immediately to Flint. Even without it, Silver could see the men of the Urca milling about the beach, longboats and crates of gold piled among them. More crates were being pulled off the ship. Silver felt the silence getting to him once again. There was no need to state the obvious, but he did it, anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Urca de Lima wrecked at sea last night. Dashed by the storm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one seemed to pay him any attention, but breaking the silence made him feel better. Left him with something to do than stand there with his own thoughts drowning him. Flint moved the glass from the beach to the warship anchored at watch and then back to the beach, roving over the gold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Flint brings up the plan to take the warship that’s guarding the Urca gold, John volunteers to go with him. Why wouldn’t he? The captain always seems to be several steps ahead of DuFresne and the rest of the crew and this garners the perfect opportunity to escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When it becomes obvious to Silver that Flint truly intended for the two of them to try and take an entire ship on their own, he feels entirely justified to just turn around and walk his way to St. Augustine. He’s very quickly informed that he is, in fact, going in the wrong direction, all the while Flint simply continues stripping his shoes and preparing to swim his way onto the fucking warship. Silver doesn’t know what it is that makes him follow, or at least he tries to tell himself that he doesn’t know, but he does. The answer is right there on Flint’s ankle. He couldn’t let Flint just die. He’d saved him once already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Flint cornered Silver after the incident over the boatswain’s whistle, he tries to tell himself that he doesn’t know why he says that he doesn’t want Flint dead. He truly doesn’t want his captain dead; far from it, actually, and he is pretty much the only person here that feels that way. There may be a few of Flint’s men that wouldn’t want the captain dead, but none that would care enough to try to put a stop to it. So Silver says how he feels. Which, generally, that would be something that Silver would lie through his teeth about. Yet, in this situation, he gave the information willingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the two of them are captured and one of them is offered freedom, he jumps at the offer. Instinct to survive takes over, but the moment he is free from the ropes, the same feeling that caused him to follow Flint out there in the first place causes him to turn back. Then, after a scuffle with the men that had taken them captive, he and Flint stood side by side preparing to fight off at least twelve more. Luckily, the next face that came through the door they were behind was Joshua. The crew had begun the assault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day, Silver had begun the work to earn his place back on the crew. His first address moved the crew very little. In fact, the kick to the ribs he received nearly made him question the entire plan. Of course, the men were playing along perfectly. It would make more sense for the people responsible for what he announces to stay seated where they are, but for some reason they feel the need to stand up, oust themselves as the perpetrator, and beat the ever living shit out of Silver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flint was as unmoved as the rest of the crew by Silver’s announcements. When Flint asks him what the hell he thinks he’s doing, Silver answers honestly. Or as honestly as he can get about his history. He tells Flint a story of a boy named Solomon Little standing up every morning and addressing all the other boys in the home in a much similar manner. Flint tried to argue that these were men Silver was dealing with and not boys, but Silver knows there’s little difference. Eventually, the men would be too enamored in the dislike and ridicule of each other to even consider their hatred for him. It had worked once; it could work again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the fourth of his announcements, even he could admit that the likelihood of this plan looked bleak, but he had to find a way back into the crew’s graces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re trying to impress me, it isn’t working.” Flint had said as Silver unfolded his small cluster of pages, preparing to stand and walk to the point in the galley where everyone could see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Flint had said that, Silver was determined that he would make this work. Something in him felt compelled to prove Flint wrong, to prove that these men were no different than the boys back then. To maybe impress Flint even just a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started off fairly light. Disgusting, but light. Just his luck that the man found himself compelled to rub the same hand he wiped his ass with on Silver’s face. Silver just stood back up and continued on. If his next item wouldn’t pit the crew against each other, nothing would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started off with an intrigued noise. It was all about the story telling. As soon as he got into it, the man took the bait. Silver finished his sentence just a second before the man’s fist connected with his jaw. It hurt, but Joshua standing up afterwards and asking if the man fucked the dairy goat dulled the pain immensely. It was working. As Joshua and several other crewmembers mocked the man, Silver looked to Flint. The smirk and small snicker Flint sent his way made Silver smirk to himself. It worked and Silver was pleased to find that he had, in fact, made an impression on Flint.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not long after, Flint and Silver stood looking over the railing as DuFresne led the crew over the side and onto the deck of the latest prize. The surrender had been a swift response to the raising of the black, and it seemed as if everything promised to go right for the fucking weasel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The men in these waters are hard men. They don’t fear ships. They don’t fear guns. They don’t fear swords.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silver couldn’t help but ask: “Then what do they fear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In lieu of response, Flint simply gave Silver that knowing smirk, saying without the words, ‘me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Flint’s explanation of how precarious the timing of raising the black could be, and DuFresne seemingly mastering it on the first try, Silver was reluctant to believe that this day would go as Flint seemed to plan it would. But then, everything seemed to turn. The English captain whistled and his men jumped into action. It was chaos and DuFresne was right in the middle of it with no idea on what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The men stood by waiting for an order, waiting for DuFresne to say something, anything. In that moment, Flint took his chance. He barked out his orders and, after a slight pause, the men followed. He was in charge again, and he stood like he had no doubt in his mind that this is exactly how everything would turn out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silver looked at him and the two of them made eye contact across the deck and the fire in his eyes made Silver wish he was the focus of those eyes more often, in different ways. But there was no way that he could tell Flint. Silver, for a long time, had sought a way to get off this goddamn boat. A way to get off this crew, but where could he go? Flint would not hesitate to murder him the second he stepped away and offered the Urca’s location to anyone else. He has no choice, but to remain as long as he wants that gold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s how he reasons to himself the part of him that feels like he needs to stay. The part of him that draws him to Flint. The part that will probably get him killed one day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you, what do you think? Do you see me as the villain here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silver didn’t know what to say. He was almost shocked. He never expected for Flint to ask his opinion on anything in the first place and now he’s asking how Silver sees him. A question to which Silver can’t quite answer truthfully. He laughs and goes to start a few different ways, but then he settles on something that pretty much brushes off the question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I... see you as the agent most likely of securing my share of the gold on that beach. As long as that remains true I am not bothered in the least by whatever labels anyone else decides to affix to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t take long for Silver to realize that brushing the question off was the wrong thing to do. Flint was not pleased in the slightest by it. He should have said no. Sure, the men up on that hill may think that what he is about to do is the worst thing for Nassau; what’s a harbor without a fort to protect it? But Silver has seen Vane in action, seen him nearly choke Max to death, been chased through the wrecks by him and Flint both. And of the two, he is much happier to have been caught by Flint. He should have said something like that. But no, he stuck his foot in his mouth and he would probably do it again by the time this conversation was over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? What do you think about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flint blinked twice. Silver’s sure he wasn’t expecting that, but something wasn’t making total sense. Why would Flint ask his opinion over anyone else’s?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry?” Flint asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next words out of Silver’s mouth were said, yet again, around his foot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It bothers you, doesn’t it? What they think. With the things you’ve done... my god... it must be awful being you”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not particularly sure why he said it, but the words hang in the air even though their effect is immediate. Flint’s face closed off as soon as the words left Silver’s lips and Silver is quickly reminded that time is short. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me stop you right there. There is no ‘we.’ We stopped being a thing of any relevance about an hour ago.” Silver knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but at the same time it felt good to finally force Flint to acknowledge just how much Silver does for him. How much he needs Silver. In a few hours time, he can sell the position of the gold and then some crew will take the bait and a portion of it will be firmly in Silver’s pocket, and then he can leave. Away from Randall, and the goddamn crew. The part of his soul that’s attached to Flint’s, the same one that has been twisting his decisions for days now, isn’t fond of this thought process, but Silver cares little to listen to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that so?” Flint asks, threateningly. He does this often. Thinks he can threaten Silver into doing what he wants, but Silver never reacts well to being cornered. Never has, never will. He’s surprised Flint has yet to learn it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe I’ve been clear about the nature of my investment here.” The gold had originally been his only reason to stay, and had remained his excuse for staying, but at this point everything was so complicated that clear wasn’t a word that seemed to have any place in Silver’s life. “The gold was the inducement. Now no gold-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was an unfortunate development, but we have to adapt, and quickly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Adapt? I’ve had about my fill of adapting lately.” If only Flint knew how much Silver had been adapting. He’d been adapting to everything all while fighting the one part of him that could never change. It was exhausting and even Silver was tired of it. “Doing your bidding, keeping the crew in line for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t the only to benefit from that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It certainly seemed that way.” Silver should walk away. This engagement was only getting more heated by the second, but he was angry. Flint seemed to only know how to push until he got his way and Silver was sick of it. The captain needed to learn that he would have to account for Silver. “Even now you’re the only one benefitting from it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you saying, that I’m benefitting from the gold having disappeared?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It certainly seemed to solve a number of problems for you, didn’t it? I have half a mind to wonder if you didn’t orchestrate this whole thing to your advantage.” If Silver hadn’t been the one to do it himself, he very well may have considered it being Flint’s plan all along. Maybe it will end up being another example of his connection tugging him in a direction that works for both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen to me. I understand your disappointment at this recent news. I share it. But I need your help.” Finally, he admitted it. Some of the anger in Silver dissolved at that. Then Flint mentioned the crew, and Silver was less enthusiastic on that front. “They need your help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, please. Don’t try to convince me to do it for the sake of their futures.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For the sake of your own.” And there it was again. Flint’s words underlined by a threat. The anger that had dissipated returned, yet again. “Those men listen to you. They give a shit about what you have to say. What you think, what you want them to think. Where else in the world is that true? Where else would you wake up in the morning and matter? You walk out on this, and where the fuck are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flint was right and Silver hated it. Anywhere else and he was nobody once again. Same face, new name all over again. Where else could he get men that wanted to know what he had to say? Nowhere. That was the answer. Flint was right, but Silver hated him for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wakes up confused. There’s no shortage of things to be confused about. Why is he sleeping in the captain’s cabin? Why is he cold? ....why can’t he feel his leg?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s when every question gets answered simultaneously and his stomach roils and churns like the sea in a storm. Then he makes eye contact with Flint. He didn’t know which would have been worse: this, waking up with Flint, knowing Flint has seen him in this state, or waking up alone with no distractions from his own head?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He decides that this is probably the worst of the two as his head still continues racing, taking little heed to Flint. At another point, Flint could be a distraction from his thoughts, but now he only made them worse. When he asks Flint where they are he gives more information, which John would usually be thankful for, but none of it really sank in. He was hearing it, but he wasn’t listening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flint poured and passed him a cup of water and he took it, too lost to notice when his hands held Flint’s for a second longer than they should have. He didn’t know that Flint noticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...they’ll need to lean on something solid. On the men who can reassure them that in times like these there are things that can be counted on. They’ll look to me for that,” Flint leaned forward a little and even through his cacophony of thoughts the words Flint said rang through, “but they’ll also look to their new quartermaster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This didn’t take long to process. He was now quartermaster. From the thief cook to the invalid quartermaster... and now he was stuck with the crew for more than one reason. That little part of him that fought to stay every time he even thought in passing about leaving no longer had to fight. Flint was right then, and he was damn sure right, now. Where the fuck would Silver go?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Flint said something that really reinforced it. The fact that he had nowhere to go. That he was stuck. “It’s a fun thing, the more those men need you, the more you need them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was because he was feeling trapped, maybe he was just speaking to hear his brains rattle, maybe he just wanted something to prove that he had more power than anyone ever thought, but either way, as Flint turned to walk away, he brought up the gold. He lied, of course, about his part in it. Blamed it all on the scouts and with both of them dead there was no one to contradict his story. Maybe Flint believed him when it said it was all the scouts, maybe he didn’t. Silver didn’t care. Flint didn’t have the proof to kill him. Then again, Flint had killed people he was closer to over less. And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he killed him, maybe it would be better than this.</span>
</p>
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